Secret sex. Shadow Sex. Shame. Scandal. Clandestine Affairs, Hidden, Private. Lying.
Pornography, magazines, movies, chat rooms. Secret rendezvous's, motels, hotels, alleys, highway rest-stops. Cheating, infidelity, mistresses, secret side-lovers, prostitutes, call-girls, escorts, gigolos. Strip-clubs, sex-clubs. Masochism. Sadism. Abusive. Violence. Rape. Molestation. Incest. Sex w/ animals. Sex-addiction. Compulsions. Fetishes. Regret. Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Sexual Dysfunction. Self-Punishment. Self-Denial. Self-loathing. Fear.
Sex is a natural act, a loving expression shared between two or more consenting individuals, for the purpose of pleasure and/or procreation. It is an opportunity to merge energies/bodies with another; A coming together or union between one being and another. It is the energy upon which the Totality operates and functions. EVERYTHING is an act of sex- the union of the energies present, merging with each other to give rise or birth to NEW Experiences- from the creation of universes to flowers and trees to a rainstorm, to all the processes within a human body, to a cake being made and baked, to a piece of music or art being made or performed. Sex should be honored and revered for the divine expression it was made to be. But with the creation of duality, what arose was the shadow side of sex. We went into hiding parts of our sexual selves from others and even ourselves. The denial and repression of aspects of the self, fed the shadow, giving it a life of its own.
You have individuals compelled to participate or act out a myriad of sexual compulsions. Why? Because the drive is so powerful that until the individual is conscious of the energy, they are at the mercy of it- like a puppet on strings, dancing out the movements the energy wishes to play out or express. All interactions are a combination of the interacting energies, a composite, if you will. Within the dance of duality, competition has reigned supreme. And so it has often been a case of one faction or energy competing with another for dominance. Just like different aspects of the individual compete to have their perspective expressed and their needs met or satisfied, so too have we wrestled with what one part of us wants and how that fits in with what we feel we should do, or what others expect of us. Leaving us to reconcile these when they don't match up. And so we may act one way in secret while pretending to be another way in public, dreading that others may uncover the lie. Like the husband or wife cheating on their spouse, or the politician or celebrity in a sex scandal, or the church or educational institutions involved in sexual abuse with children, we as a society are rich in the Shadow Side of Sex.
So how do we heal the shadow? Should we feel anger, horror, regret or shame for these sexual actions, (whether they are our own or expressed by others in the world around us)?
Well, we MUST honor whatever emotions are generated, and we MUST accept responsibility for the energy within ourselves that gave rise to this energy or these acts. We need to be able to claim it as our own before we can have power over it. Then we can deal with it, releasing and moving through the experiences. As long as it is not harming another, meaning one is not forcing another to participate in an act against their will, or one is not participating in an act with an inappropriate partner (a baby, child or animal), then we are the ones responsible for dealing with the consequences of our actions and choices, and for deciding how we wish to EXPRESS ourselves in the Sex Act. Everything is connected to one's level of consciousness. The more consciousness one brings to their experiences, the deeper and more profound the experiences can be. Let's compare it to skimming on top of the surface of the water to diving deep - the deeper you go, the more you see, and the more you feel. It doesn't mean that shallow sex or anonymous sex can't be satisfying- it can, but sexuality was created to be much more than that. Just as with the shadow, sex can be quite a destructive force, its potential for being a profoundly healing, regenerative and transformative experience is massive.
We need to be proud of who we are and how we act- no hiding from ourselves or others. Honesty with self and others, really is the best policy. We also need to honor the Sacredness of The Sex Act- accepting and healing the Shadow within us- learning from it, not judging it, embracing and forgiving whatever gave rise to such experiences or energies, and choosing to release it in Love, as we step into our wholeness and express that wholeness in every area of our life- the workplace, the community, the world, and of course the bedroom (or wherever you choose to healthily EXPRESS yourself sexually!)
